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Mt. Pulaski , Illinois
May 5, 2010     Times
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May 5, 2010

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3 Late for Bible Class A little gid, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't iet me be lateff While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran she once again began to=Dear Lord, pray, ~ please don't let me be late...But please don't shove me eithed" ~" God Is Watching The children were lined up in the caf- O eteria of a parochial elementary school ,,~ for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile Of apples. A note was posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, =Take all you want. God is watching the apples." There's My Husband~- Recently moved to a new city, a woman was eager to meet people. So one day she struck up a conversation with the only other woman in the gym. Pointing to two men playing racquetball in a nearby court, she said to her, =There's my husband." Then she added, "The thin one - not the fat one." After a slightly uncomfortable silence, the other woman replied, =And that'~ my husband - the fat one." Thump A truck driver used to amuse himself by running over lawyers he would see walking down the side of th~ road. Every time he would see a lawyer walk- ing along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud =THUMP" and then he would swerve back on the road. This past time was immensely enjoyable to the tnuck driver. One day, as the truck driver was driv- ing along, he saw a priest hitchhiking, so he thought he would do a good turn by offering the priest a lift. He pulled the truck over and asked the priest, =Where are you going, Father?." =I'm ~oing to the churc, h 5 miles clown the road," replied the priest. =No problem, Father, I'll give you a lift. Climb in the truck." With that, the happy priest climbed into the passenger seat, and the truck driver continued down the road. Sud- denly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the read, and instinctively he swerved to hit him. Then he remembered the pnest in the truck with him, so he~ swerved, missing the lawyer. He still heard a "THUD". Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors, and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that lawyer." "That's okay," replied the priest. =1 got him with the door." Cho~p Homo S~euHty C~o to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots. :== Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and your NRA magazines. Put a few giant-sized dog dishes next to the boots and magazine. Leave a note on your door that reads: "Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went for more ammunition. Back in about an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. I locked all four of 'era in the house. Better wait in your truck till I get back." To Attend Girls' State The Mt. Pulaski American Legion Auxiliary Unit 447 has selected two high school juniors to attend lllini Girls' State 70th Annual Session June 13 - 19 at Eastern Illinois University in Charleston. The candidates are Hannah Allen and Lilly Koehl. Hannah is the daughter of Ralph & Lois Allen of Mt. PulaskC She is an Honor Stu- dent and a member of the National Honor Society, Stu- dent Council, Science Olym- piad, Drama Club, Spanish Club, and WYSE Academic Team. Hannah is involved in group work camp, volleyball, 4-H, and worship team at church. Active in 4-H and FFA, she raises sheep. She plans to further her edu- cation. Herinterests are in U.S. History and Politics. Lily is the daughter of Jim & Anne-Marie Koehl of Corn- land. She is involved in Span- ish Club and on the Prom Com- mittee. Her interests are in U.S. History and Politics. Lily volunteered in Williams- ville after the 2009 tornadoes and has experience in retail and babysitting. Her goal is to attend Lincoln Land Community College and receive a degree in interior design. Her next goal is to attend the Art Institute near Chicago, with hopes to have her own business some day. The Illini Girls' State is sponsored by the American legion Auxiliary, Department of Illinois. The program provides youth of our country an opportunity to become better informed citi- zens and prepares them to participate in the leadership roles within the democratic process of government when they take their meaningful place in our society. The week at Illini Girls' State is dedicated to teaching local and state governmental practices, proper voting procedures. political party structures, campaigning and proper flag eti- quette. The goal of our program is to challenge the talented young minds with the best possible speakers, sessions, and much - hands on training. Submitted By - Phyllis Meister A man should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a pmbtem, pitch manure, cook, fight efficiently, and die gallantly. Specialization is for bugs. COWBOY WISDOM Pulaski Z:3OPM Midnight $10 Cover Charge Includes... Ticket for Door Prizes, Food, & Entertainment May Meeting The Mt. Pulaski Rural Fire Protection District Board of Trustees will meet at 7:30Pm Tuesday, May 18 at Fire Station #1, 612 East Dekalb Street, Mt. Pulaski. Letter Carrier Food Drive Saturday, May 8 is the National Stamp Out Hunger Food Drive sponsored by the National Asso- ciation of Letter Carriers. Put some non-perishable food items in a bag and place it by your mailbox. Your Letter Carrier will pick it up and deliver it to a local food bank or pantry. Margaret's Avon Announcement To all my Avon customers... After 20-years of service for Avon I am resigning May 31. I have enjoyed having each and every one of you as my customer. If you would like to contact me before that time my telephone number is 217-651-8031. Address: 713 Clin- ton, Lincoln IL 62656. Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear or a fool from any direc- tion. COWBOY WISDOM Diedra A. Stewart recognized during Faculty Lecture & Honors Convocation Diedra A. Stewart, a graduate student majoring in clinical nurse leader from Decatur was honored during Millikin Univer- sity's annual Distinguished Fac- ulty Lecture and Honors Convo- cation program held April 22 in the Kirkland Fine Arts Center. Stewart received the Dr. Mary D. Shanks & Dr. Linda K Niedringhaus Excellence in Nursing Leadership Award. This award is for a graduate Master of Science in Nursing student who demonstrates excellence in leadership and commitment to the profession of nursing. This av?ard recognizes the academic excellence, profes- sional commitment, and lead- ership potential of an MSN stu- dent as selected annually by the SChool of Nursing faculty members. The ideal recipient of the award will have stellar aca- demic record and clear leader- ship characteristics with dem- onstrated professional values, core knowledge and skills desirable in a nursing profes- sional. Have power when the power goes out with our Guardian Standby Generators When the power goes out.., and it will... You can depend ,on our Guardian Standby Generators for automatic back-up power ,f Fully Automatic 24/7 Protection Permanently Installed ,f Better Than Portables Now Installing I Geothermal Heating & Cooling I Geothermal heating & cooling uses the relatively con- stant temperature of the earth to heat & cool homes and businesses with 40% to 70% less energy. Geothermal heat pumps use electricity to simply move heat from the earth into buildings. A geothermal heat pump can move up to 4 units of heat for every unit of electricity needed to power the system, resulting in an equivalence of over 400% efficiency. Good News! The government revised Federal Tax Credits for homeowners who install geothermal heat ] otUmps. The tax credit is up to 30% of the, al cost of installation for home owners. / Dave Bassett- John Wyss 105 E. Jefferson St. - North Side of Square Mt. Pulaski lic. #0518-1898