Newspaper Archive of
Mt. Pulaski , Illinois
March 17, 2010     Times
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March 17, 2010

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Golfer: "That can't be my ball, caddie. It looks far too old." English Caddy: "It still could be; it's a long time since we started, Sir." Ashley Southern Senior-of-the-Month [ Shawn & Fred LippJ Experienced Interior Painters insuredl Quality Workl Free Estimates Shawn 414.5413 Fred 566.3427 Ashley is the daughter of Tim and Mary South- erlan of Mt. Pulaski. Ashley has been a high honor roll student throughout high school. She is also a member of the Spirit Squad, WYSE academic team, and Spanish Club. In previous years she was a member the FFA, Student Senate and Student Council. Mt. Pulaski High School Ashley has won numerous awards, ranging from "Spanish III Student-of-the-Year" to bas- ketball awards, including most recently being named this area's "Student Athlete-of-the- Month". She was also recently named Logan County Student-of-the-Month. Ashley is a National Honor Society member, and through this organization she has volun- teered in the community through service proj- ects including "Make a Difference Day" and the ALS walk. Ashley plans to attend college where she will continue to play basketball and will major in physical therapy. The Senior-of-the-Month program is co-spon- sored by Johnson's Food Center and M t. Pulaski Pharmacy. Monthly winners receive $100 sav- ings bonds and are eligible to compete for the $1000 Senior-of-the-Year award. Engagement Announced Storage Space Available 500 S. Garden St. - Mt. Pulaski SlU School of Medicine MT. PULASKI CLINIC 509 E Chestnut Phone 792-3442 Cara Gravlin Nurse Practitionel OPEN: MONDAYS & THURSDAYS 8-5 TUES/WED/FRI IN SPRINGFIELD Services Include Diagnose & Treat Ages 16 and up Lab Work Available 8-3:30 We Are Working... To Continue to Seruice Caterpillar Emplogees and RESTI]T Customers Mt. Pulaski Pharmacy 507 E Chestnut 792-5081 Emily Cowan & Chad Baldwin The engagement of Emily Cowan and Chad Baldwin, both of Louisville, Kentucky, is being announced. Emily is the daughter of Scott & Debby Cowan of Dawson and Mike & Kathy Toohey of Mt. Pulaski. Chad is the son of Daniel and Stacy Baldwin of Louisville, Kentucky. A July 17 wedding is planned at the Mt. Pulaski Christian Church. Nacho orainary Mexican... 217.519.3162 m 105 E. Jefferson St. m Mt. Pulaski Now is the time to have CIWS build your new Wind Turbine Electric Generator Mexican Lunch & Dinner Every Thursday Homemade Queso Homemade Bomba Dip Specials Include... Nachos, Burritos, Chimmichangas, & Fajita Quesadillas Tax Credits Available I Buff's [amily I00estauran Call John For Detaiisl Password Audit From Jean Lucas During a recent company password audit, it was found that a secretary was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDewey DonaldGoofySacramento " When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told her password had to be at least 8 char- acters long and include at least one capital. Handy Garage Tools From Danny Matthews DRILL PRESS: Useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings across the room, dent- ing the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short. PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs. HACKSAW: Transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion. VISE-GRIPS: Used after pliers to, completely round off bolt heads. OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. TABLE SAW: Commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity. HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper. BAND SAW: Cuts good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can. PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Used to strip out Phillips screw heads. STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws. PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part. HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short. HAMMER: Used to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. GOD is Busy From Laura Lee A Marine was attending college courses between assignments. One day a professor looked to the ceiling and flatly stated GOD if you are real, I want you to knock me off this platform. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am GOD, rm still waiting.' Tthe Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, 'What in the world is the matter with you? 'Why did you do that?' The Marine calmly replied, 'GOD was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot, So He sent me.' 14 = et I t O